Girls in the Know & e3 (encourage, educate, empower)
mother & daughter workshop
become her source of comfort and guidance
What a powerful evening! Thanks to everyone who attended the workshop. The goal was to begin creating honest, respectful and loving communication with our daughters. I was witness to many magical moments where honesty and love filled the room.
In order to deepen and strengthen the bonds created at the Girls in the Know speaker series, www.girlsintheknow.org, we began with deep breathing, followed by beginning to understand, journaling and overcoming awkward moment activities. We concluded by sharing our "aha" moments!
I was touched and impressed by the courage shown by the girls. Their actions spoke to how much they love their moms and desire healthy communication. We heard first hand how our girls sometimes interpret our stress, a big "aha" moment! They also shared how refreshing it is to know adults make mistakes too!
Moms shared that they want to be the one their daughter can turn to in times of need....the GOOD NEWS....your daughters want that too!!! The common theme for the evening: we all want love and understanding.
I will keep you posted as Girls in the Know and I discuss ways to bring you more workshops! If you are interested in rounding up a group of 15 mothers and daughters for a follow up session, we would be happy to make that happen. Some topics for future sessions include: real love vs. the other kind, journaling, talking heart to heart, talking about tough topics, creating agreements vs. arguments.
I have summarized the responses below and highlighted my favorite responses from the "beginning to understand" activity. Please celebrate your successes and take the time to have ongoing conversations and create "agreements" about how to handle your challenges.
MOM ANSWERS:
1. (mother)I’m very proud of my daughter when______
shows compassion, does the right thing, stands up for a friend
feels confident to be her true self
swims on the team
2. (mother) I wish my daughter would _______ more.
assert herself
start or continue conversations with others
3. (mother) I’d like to apologize to my daughter for______
being impatient
not believing her when she is telling the truth
getting stressed when I drive and set a bad example
4. (mother) Sometimes I’m embarrassed when my daughter______
complains about minor things
5. (mother) I feel especially close to my daughter/my mom when______
we cuddle & talk
she come comes to me with ? & concerns, opens up, I love being her source of comfort & guidance
she confides in me
6. (mother) Most of our conflicts are about______
not listening
wanting independence to make her own decisions
7. (mom only)I could do a better job as a mom if I______
I knew she was always telling me the truth
8. (mom only) The best advice I could give my daughter is______
listen to your inner voice
choose people who are close to you with care
be you!
9. (mom only) The hardest part about being a mom is _____
balancing all the demands so you can make time to spend with your daughter
10. (mom only) Sometimes I _____ I’m trying to change this behavior.
overreact
being a perfectionist, too controlling, need to be more flexible
DAUGHTER ANSWERS:
1. (daughter)I’m very proud of my mom when______
2. (daughter) I wish my mom would _______ more.
spend quality time/talk with me
be proud of me more and congratulate me by taking me out to celebrate
make funny jokes
3. (daughter) I’d like to apologize to my mom for______
yelling, getting mad so often
whinning when she is right
talking back
4. (daughter) Sometimes I’m embarrassed when my mom ______
yells at me in front of my friends
says something she's not supposed to
5. (daughter) I feel especially close to my mom when______
talk
talk about stuff we wouldn't usually talk about
she really listens and understands
hug
6. (daughter) Most of our conflicts are about______
homework
siblings
what I wear
7. (daughter) I would be easier to live with if I______
had a cell phone so I could call you with the code word
8. (daughters)When something is bothering me I’d like my mom to______
hug me/ask whats wrong ("aha" moment: they want us to ask and hug them even though their body language might suggest otherwise!)
talk to me and help me figure out what I should do
have empathy
9. (daughters)When we argue I sometime_____ (even though I know its wrong). I’m working to change this behavior.
saying bad words
10. (daughters)If I’m ever a mom, I promise I will_______
always be loving
PARTICIPANT COMMENTS:
"I feel like I can talk to my mom"
"I feel better about what my mom said...hopefully we'll get through rough patches with better communication"
"I want to talk heart to heart with my mom"
"I learned my mom wants to tell more jokes"
"I feel able to talk to my mom about stuff I couldn't before"
"I learned grown ups still make mistakes"
"I feel we can do more to work on our relationship, like journaling"
"I learned there are many ways to achieve a closer relationship"
"I feel happy and close with my daughter"
With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.
~Eleanor Roosevelt
If you attended the workshop, please share your thoughts.
Let's talk soon,
Gina Marten
Founder, e3stl
www.e3stl.com
gina@e3stl.com
